Before I Can Say Goodbye To You
by MikeJaffa
Summary: AU (now): Early in S5, I heard Lionel Richie's cover of "Long Long Way To Go" by Def Leppard and this popped into my head, as a music video to the song. I got on a Def Leppard kick and moved it. Enjoy.


TITLE: Before I Say Goodbye to You

AUTHOR MikeJaffa

SYNOPSIS: AU I wrote this to the song before I knew how the series would end, when I heard Lionel Richie cover it; this was what went through my head. Now, take it as an alternative. I got on a Deff Leppard kick and decided to move it here.

DISCLAIMER: I own neither ANDROMEDA nor the lyrics for "Long, Long Way to Go," which was originally done by Def Leppard and is a bonus track on the US release of Lionel Ritchie's new album. I am not making any money off this; please don't sue me!

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"Andromeda, commence final systems' check. Prepare for departure." Dylan didn't look up from the flight console on the command deck, empty except for the (finally functional) Rommie and himself.

Rommie turned to her captain. "Are you sure about that, Dylan? Don't you want to wait-"

"The others made their feelings plain, Rommie." Dylan finally turned to her. "And my policy has always been that I will not force them to stay. Like it or not, we will respect their decision."

"And leave them behind."

"They have all the information they need to leave Seefra if and when they choose to."

"That's not what I-"

"They're not our crew anymore, Andromeda," Dylan insisted, feeling as if each word tore a part of his heart out with it. "They haven't been for a while, and there is no point in pretending anymore. They have made their decision - they will not be leaving with this ship as either crew or passengers, so we will not give them another thought. The matter is final."

Rommie turned back to her console. "Aye, sir."

"Carry out my orders."

"Aye, captain. Systems' check under way. Estimated time of completion, 45 minutes."

"Advise me when you are almost done," Dylan said, leaving the command deck. "Carry on."

"Aye, sir."

Dylan marched down the empty corridor, his footsteps echoing around him. He tried not to think about the others, not to think about how much leaving them behind was tearing him apart.

Trying ... and failing.

_You held my hand and then you slipped away_  
_And I may never see your face again_  
_So tell me how do to fill the emptiness inside_  
_Without love, what is life?_

How had a bunch of misfits and losers become his friends - his family? He'd never admitted to anyone, not even Andromeda, that in the early days, he'd wondered if recruiting them had been a mistake. He'd even hoped they'd taken him up on his offer to leave. And even when things worked out, he couldn't imagine accomplishing much with them. Now, he couldn't imagine being without them.

_And anyone who knew us both can see_  
_We always were the better part of me_  
_I never wanted to be this free_  
_All this pain, does it go away?_

How many times had he walked these corridors with Beka at his side, arguing over some plan of his or other? She'd annoyed him more than once; now, he would have given anything for one more argument. But the only sounds were his own footffalls and the whirring of Andormeda's machinery. Somehow it made the giant starship sound more empty, more lonely, than ever before.

_Then every time I turn around_  
_And you're nowhere to be found_  
_I know I got a long, long way to go_  
_Before I can say goodbye to you_  
_Oh, I got a long, long way I know_  
_Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew_  
_To you, to you_

He didn't realize he'd been walking to the *Maru's* hangar until he got there. He turned away ... and found himself in one of Harper's machine shops. He sat on the edge of one bench, almost seeing Harper buzzing from bench to bench, pulling another technological rabbit out of his hat. In truth, Harper's areas had seemed less like machine shops and engine rooms and more like magician's caves. Certainly, the repair jobs he and Andromeda had done together were nothing less than miraculous. But now the magic was gone; there would be no more miracles. Whatever magic had been here was long gone ... along with its creator.

_From memory, there is no hiding place_  
_Turn on the TV and I see you there_  
_In every crowd there's always someone with your face_  
_Everywhere, trying not to care_

He stood under the baketball hoop in hydroponics and tried to tell himself Tyr had become his enemy. It didn't work. Dylan had always suspected Tyr would be trouble, but thought their friendship would overcome that. He'd been wrong. Tyr's departure had wounded him; their subsequent fight over the Route of Ages had poured salt on it. "Friend or enemy?" Dylan had asked. But Tyr had only answered, "Live well." He imagined that if Tyr were here, they would argue about the concept of friends and enemies. Ironic because Tyr wasn't here.

And Dylan wondered if he could ever tell anyone that in spite of all that had happned, he still missed Tyr, and wished things had turned out differently.

_Then every time I turn around_  
_And you're nowhere to be found_  
_I know I got a long, long way to go_  
_Before I can say goodbye to you_  
_Oh, I got a long, long way I know_  
_Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew_

Rev's departure had been a different wound. Bad enough that me missed Rev and his counsel, but worse that he hadn't even known the Magog had had problems after their first battle with the Magog World Ship. What did it say about him that he could call someone friend and not know about his troubles? Or do anything to help?

And Trance ... in all her incarnations. What to make of that? She'd come abaord as Breka's good luck charm only to be his guide ... and now, what was she? But he wouldn't know now, would he?

He found himself on the observation deck, looking out at the stars. They'd never seemd forbiding before, but now, going forward without any crew at all, it seemed daunting. But there was nothing more to be said. He would go on alone. The others had been clear, and so was his course, no matter what his feelings were.

_To you, I wish you everythin'_  
_And all the best that life can bring_  
_I only hope you think of me sometimes, oh_  
_And even though I feel the pain_  
_I know that I will love again_  
_The time will come, oh, and I'll move on_

"Hangar doors closed," the ship's voice announced. "Repressurizing."

"Hangar-?" Dyaln said. "Andromeda, what-?"

It hit him, and he ran like hell all the way to the *Maru's* hangar. Rommie was already there, a small smile on her face as the big doors opened, and they all came through: Beka, Rhade, Harper, Trance, even Doyle.

Beka stepped forward with that cocksure smile of hers. "Is this the last bus out of Seefra?" she asked. "We're kinda tapped out for money, but maybe we could work our way through, say as your crew?"

Dylan couldn't have stopped himself from smiling if he'd wanted to, and he didn't want to. "Welcome aboard," he said, "and I know: You won't salute me, and you won't call me 'Captain.'"

Beka tilted her head a tiny bit to one side. "I was going to say that if Andromeda still has my stuff from before Arcology, I'll be moving it to a cabin on deck 6. But the other stuff's important, too."

Dylan didn't stop himself from smiling even more. "'Dylan' will be fine," he said.

_I got a long, long way to go_  
_Before I can say goodbye to you_  
_Oh, I got a long, long way to go, got a long way I know_  
_Before I can say goodbye, before I say goodbye_  
_To all I ever knew, to all I ever knew_  
_I got a long, I got a long, long way to go, long way to go_  
_Before I can say, before I say, goodbye to you ..._

THE END


End file.
